We all as parents experience feelings of helplessness, loss of control, frustration, anger at the children and anger at ourselves.
Many times we feel alone, we are ashamed to share our distress, and do not know what is really happening in other people’s homes. They probably feel similar feelings too.
Parental guilt is born along with our children. Sometimes we feel we are not good enough parents, and sometimes we are ashamed of our children and of ourselves. Some of us have a hard time coping, others fail to help their children cope, and there are those who are interested in guidance and polishing their parenting, especially when we have a first child and there are big confusion and chaos.
Despite these heavy feelings, we are not to blame for the difficulties. It is possible that we try ineffective methods due to lack of knowledge, lack of tools or due to the patterns we inherited from our own parents.
Nice to meet you, I'm Yael Platt-Guy,
A certified parenting mentor in the Adler approach, specializing in parenting in families whom have relocationed.
I hold a Bachelor Degree in psychology and computer science and a Master degree in social work.
Challenges that people face have always motivated me and I was urged to provide a solution. Even when I worked as a software developer in the high-tech industry, I led the workers volunteering activities in the community, mainly with at-risk youth in boarding schools. There I realized what I wanted to do and specialize in and began my journey as a social worker.
I have many years of professional experience in psychiatric hospitals, schools, welfare and mental support associations. I worked with adults, elderly and mentally challenged and focused on working with children and youth at risk.
Through all those diverse experiences, I realized that working with the parents is the most significant and influential on the child’s future development path. This is because the relationship with the parents is the basis for mental health, security, resilience, success in life, the ability to choose and the ability to be in healthy relationships when we are adults. That’s why I studied parent training in the Adler approach.
I am married and a mother of 3.
In recent years we have been living in California.
I offer to accompany you on the significant and challenging journey of your parenting, virtually (for those living in Israel or on relocation around the world) or in face-to-face meetings (for those living in Silicon Valley). I also offer intimate parenting groups for mutual and professional support.
In our meetings we will work together to:
- Strengthen your parental image
- Help you feel towards yourself the feelings you want to make your child feel
- Understand your child’s behavior and the need behind it
- Recognize what you are experiencing with your child
- Provide you with tools to effectively deal with challenging situations
In her moving and touching book, “The Glass Castle,” Jeannette Walls describes her parents, who are far from the parenting model we aspire to be like. However, they managed to give their children determination, courage and surprising abilities to shape their world. Jeannette describes her parents with compassion despite all the difficulties. This is how I approach people in general and this is how I approach the parents I meet. Non-judgmentally I can help you to find compassion for your children when they get you out of control and for yourself when you lose control.
When Christmas came that year, we had no money at all. On Christmas Eve, Dad took each of us out into the desert night one by one.
“Choose your favorite star,” dad said.
He told me I could keep it forever. He said it was my Christmas present. One star shone brighter than the rest.
“I want it,” I said.
It’s Venus,” said father. “Venus is just a planet and it’s pretty poor compared to the other stars. It does not create its own light, and shines only because of the light reflected from it.’
“I still like it,” I said.
“OK,” said father. And he gave me Venus.
That evening we laughed at all the children who believed in the myth of Santa Claus.
“In many years,” dad said, “when all the rubbish they received will be broken and forgotten, you will still have your stars.”
(The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls).
This story touched my heart and inspired me, because in my eyes it shows how much power parents have, as those who mediate the world to children and who teach the children about themselves and the light that exists in them. Thanks to her father, Jeannette didn’t see herself as poor and miserable who didn’t get holiday gifts like the other children, but luckier than them. Later in the book when Jeannette is down, she cheers herself up “I don’t care, I have Venus”.
Children do not shine on their own, but reflect the light that their parents shine on them, just as Venus reflects the sunlight that hits it. . In our meeting I will help you find the light that exists in you so that you can project it on your children. I will teach you how to set boundaries with less anger and without damaging the children’s joy of life, how to improve communication with them and how to create a positive atmosphere at home.